Funny Religion

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness ? .... Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.

A Jew, A Catholic, and an atheist are rowing in Lake Erie when their boat springs a huge leak. The Jew looks skyward, and says “Oh, Adonai, if you save me, I promise I’ll sail to Israel and spend the rest of my days trying to reclaim the land you gave us.” The Catholic looks skyward, and says, “Oh, Jesus, if you save me, I promise I’ll fly to the Vatican and spend the rest of my days singing your praises.” The atheist says, “Oh, guys, if you pass me that one life preserver, I promise I’ll swim to Cleveland.” “And how will you spend the rest of your days?” the Jew and the Catholic ask. “Well,” says the atheist, “I’m not sure, but I can tell you one thing: I’ll never go rowing with other atheists.”

Atheist: What’s this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Praying.
Atheist: Very funny. I can’t eat this. Take it back.
Waiter: You see? The fly’s prayers were answered.

An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you dont believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didnt believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!

Mumbai meri jaan

Saw Mumbia meri jaan today. Kinda slow but liked it. "Wednesday" was a better entertainer though. MMJ had the quintessential "hindu musalmaan stop the endless 'you hit me, i hit you' cycle, to restore peace" message that movies on terrorism usually have.

Its about time we take it one step further and hit the rehab to wean ourselves from this drug called "geriniol" ( also known as "gerin oil" ) from our system, our lives.

P.S. I love anagrams.

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Welcome to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster .

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, while having existed in secrecy for hundreds of years, only recently came into the mainstream when this letter was published in May 2005.

With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshipers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents - mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.

Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.

They get a lot of hate mails ( LOL ).

Rock On !!

Music is an important part of my life now. I don't remember much about my taste of music during my school days. It probably would have been very similar to what i listened to in my college days. Yup, the usual bollywood numbers that everybody grooves to. Although i had heard very few "english" numbers, i always made it a point to argue with some of my colg friends who would listen to them. I would go blah blah about how Indian music(=bollywood songs then) is better than the silly western music, how melodious they are, how you enjoy them for you life,etc,etc.

I don't remember the exact year when i started developing a taste for non-bollywood music. I think it was primarily pop music at first => Backstreet boys, etc. Then somewhere down the line came eminem. I think heard a few rap numbers before eminem, but once i heard eminem, i just couldnt stop listening to him. His numbers were funny, rhyming and rapilicious. He is the God of rap.

Around the same time i tried Linkin Park or was it LP before eminem?, aah who cares !!. Initially it was all noise to me but their noise was somehow "different" though. As i listened to more and more of LP, I started liking them. I loved their mellow starts. I always felt energetic after listening to their songs. I got more and more of their songs from the internet and from friends and before i knew, i was an LP fan and i still am. I still like their numbers very much.LP changed my attitude towards western music. Its not that i stopped listening to bollywood numbers, i still liked them, but LP helped me broaden my "range".

So during my colg days and early engg days, whenever i was asked for my music "taste". I would say LP and rap. I still identified my taste based on the bands i listened to. Its not that LP and eminem were the only ones i listened to, but LP and eminem were among the top.

After reading about LP on the internet, i realized there was this genre called "rock" music and LP was not the only one doing it. Liked some more bands. I was becoming more of a "rock" liking person that just an LP fan. In engg days, you get a lot of music from your friends staying in hostels, so that again helped me explore.

Although i started listening to more and more bands and read up on them on the internet about their styles, i couldn't listen to a song and say "this song belonged to this genre", I always equated songs to the bands. Also, anything that was energetic and intense was "rock" to me.

During my first year @ GSLab, me and some of my colleagues were @ McD. One of my colleague's roomie turned out to be a music geek. Another colleague also had some info(A brilliant knowledge powerhouse, ask him anything and you would get info on it). So we had this cool discussion as to what distinguishes each band and how a band is labeled a particular "genre". I had heard genres like "metal", "rock", "heavy metal", "death metal", "soft rock", "blues", "classic rock" and there are soooo many of them. Although i got some info from that discussion, i still cant distinguish metal from rock with confidence.

Now a days i listen to many more bands and genres of music, so much so that my friends are of the opinion that i have no particiular taste, i listen to any crap that comes along. hunh? They don't know what they are missing :)

There are so many good Indian bands too - To name a few => Parikrama, Agnee, Pentagram, Avial,etc (Mallu rock !!, i love them, may be coz i am a mallu?, donno :) ).

But, once in a while i do meet friends and friends of friends who have these awesome huge music collections and All i say to myself is "what the hell was i doing all these years?".

and

I say gimme more!, more!, more!. There is so much of music out there that deserves attention.

Now i pity those who only have bollywood numbers and oldies to groove to :) But, anyways, whatever one's taste is, Music is a great source of pleasure and energy for anyone. One has to find one's taste. There is so much music in the word, i say, dont just stick to what you hear often, go out and explore more, you will certainly find some interesting "Noise" out there.

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What happens when an atheist meets God after his death ? Something like this ?