Sunday, March 1, 2009

An open letter to Kansas School Board -- Hilarious

Background:

Proponents of intelligent design believe that certain features of the universe and of living things are too complex to not have been designed by an intelligent, supernatural agent, such as a god(s). This contrasts with the naturally directed, impersonal processes described by the theory of evolution

The Kansas Evolution Hearings were a series of hearings held in Topeka, Kansas May 5 to May 12, 2005 by the Kansas State Board of Education and its State Board Science Hearing Committee to change how evolution and the origin of life would be taught in the state's public high school science classes

On February 13, 2007, the Board voted 6 to 4 to reject the amended science standards enacted in 2005.The definition of science was once again returned to "the search for natural explanations for what is observed in the universe."

Excerpt of the letter from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster to the Kansas School Board:

""
........ Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease. ...........

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Imagine our children fighting in their class rooms on which god(out of the millions mankind has conveniently created) "intelligently" created our universe :D ....