Pornos

I have a weak memory, particularly when it comes to my distant past. I remember only a few significant events, everything else is quite fuzzy. I don't particularly remember my school days back in Kerala(my grandparents raised me till I was about 8[3rd Std]). I distinctly remember being a "nice boy" during the early school years, used to cover my ears when the backbenchers cracked "dirty" jokes. After that, the next significant milestone I remember is one of friends describing to me, the whole process and how a sticky white liquid was involved(this is probably 8th or 9th std and he even gave the liquid a name :). I hadn't seen the act explicitly till then, so all I could do was just imagine the new, weird, disgusting use of our urinary organs.

Then, one day, after returning from an easter mass(yes, I was an unquestioning christian then) late night(>1am), I somehow ended up sitting in the front eating dinner in front of the TV and the rest of the family were sitting in the dining room(some altercation I believe). I switched to the local cable channel and what do I see ? There is this old man, completely naked, a young lady, completely naked. Both are doing some sort of exercise together. Then my brain corrected, "that's not exercise you dumbass!!", they're all mixed up and into and over each other. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen till then. My tiny brain just couldn't comprehend it. I felt like vomiting(This, I hear, is one of the common reactions). I am not sure If I realized it was sex right there or If i discussed it with friends to confirm. But that was my first experience of a pornographic movie, often called BP(Blue Picture ? Bad Picture ?) or Blue film or pondy or a porno or .....

I also remember gathering money to go to Internet cafes just to visit those 'sites' to see what it is like. The curiosity is so overwhelming during those years. I used to memorize the site names that friends told me about, it used to be so scary. There were plenty of other kids like me in the adjoining cubicles, equally(if not more) excited, looking at the computer screen, almost salivating.

Flash forward to present. I hardly know a guy who hasn't watched a porno. A few are sort of obsessed. Some watch them once every few months/weeks(when they're in the 'mood'). I know married people who watch and exchange pornos(they ask bachelors). I have heard of dads who watch porn at night. I know guys who despise pornos but secretly watch them every now and then.

The important thing to remember though is that the way most people have sex is not even remotely the way pornos show it(at least that's what I have heard). Pornos are just one of the safer ways to satisfy the natural,evolutionary urge that men/women have. Too many pornos and you might go over to the darker side, considering females are mere sex objects and that according to me, is just not healthy. I remember hitting the gray border line when I just couldn't talk to females without looking at their boobs(very frustrating).

I am no guru but it seems to me that If you let pornos shape your expectations abt your future/current sex life, you might be in for a shock(alteast a mild one). The experience is totally dependent on the participants. Some like to make sweet love, some like animality and aggression, some have fantasies, some find it disgusting, some treat it as a chore, some have crazy fetishes and what not. I don't know if I can ever engage in what people call "casual sex". Sex is more than just the physical activity(that's the ideal in my head, only time will tell how it will turn out to be), it's about love and giving pleasure to each other and enjoying each other's presence.

Now, the funny part is how most parents don't know that their children watch pornos. Or may be they do and they ignore it ? They probably know all about the 'bad' sites on the internet and magazines and CDs/DVDs. I remember this 6th std kid asking me during some casual chat, "hey, you got any porno CDs". This is why it's so important for parents to have the "sex talks" before their kids get all the wrong information from other mediums. It's so bad that the society depicts sex as some kind of taboo. We, as a society, should be more open and transparent abt sex. The more secretive and restrictive and sinful it is portrayed as, the harder it is for the younger generation to understand it from the right angles.